Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin into a bowl of iron filings.
B Villbens Birmingham

X File fans. Create the effect of being abducted by aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously 'erased'.
Sam Neffendorf Weybridge

Domestos is an ideal substitute for Blue Curaco, and far less pricey. It gives any cocktail a bit of 'oomph'.
James Francis East Glamorgan Hospital

Record the sound of your wife having an orgasm, and then listen to the tape through headphones next time you make love. That way you can have sex without waking her up.
Frank Wilson Southend

Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
D Duckham Didford

Office workers. Avoid distractions from your important paperwork by making 'blinkers' out of two Post-It note stickers, one stuck to each temple.
Fanny Cyclops. South Norwood.

An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
Sister S. Berwick. Blackrod.

Fool passers by into thinking you keep a bird of prey by walking down the street wearing a leather gauntlet, waving a piece of raw meat in your hand and constantly looking up into the sky.
Simone Glover. Tottenham