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Posted: 17 January 2005 at 8:52am

Not so much a joke but v good if you like cats!

http://www.rathergood.com/independent_woman/

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Eddie

Chalfont Star

Joined: 11 January 2005
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 3334

Posted: 12 February 2005 at 11:20am

Subject: Dwarf with a lisp

Dwarf with a lisp

A Dwarf with a lisp goes to a stud farm to buy a horse, "I'd like to buy
a horth" he says to the owner of the farm.

"What sort of horse ?" asks the owner.

"A female horth", the dwarf replies and so the owner takes him to his
finest mare.

"Nithe horth", says the dwarf, "Can I thee her eyth?".

The owner patiently picks up the dwarf and shows him the horse's eyes.

"Nithe eyth" says the dwarf, "Can I thee her teeth?".

Again, the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horse's teeth

"Nithe teeth, can I thee her eerth?" the dwarf says.

By now the owner is getting a little fed up but again, picks up the
dwarf and shows him the horse's ears.

"Nithe eerth", says the dwarf, "Can I thee her twot?"

With this, the owner picks up the dwarf and shoves his head deep inside
the horse's vagina and holds him there for a few seconds before pulling
him out and putting him down.

The dwarf shakes his head and says, "Perhapth I should weefwaze that,
can I thee her wun awound?".

They say Kesey's dead; But never trust a prankster;even underground.

Steve

Chalfont Snapper

Joined: 25 February 2005
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 3305

Posted: 25 February 2005 at 3:40pm

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice -- picnic tables,
horseshoe courts, and some orange and grapefruit trees.
The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he
hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him,

"We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast.

Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Helen

Chalfont Star

Joined: 21 January 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 4221

Posted: 25 February 2005 at 5:19pm

very good, must do some work

Wolfie

Chalfontonian

Joined: 17 January 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 1391

Posted: 25 February 2005 at 5:23pm

me too, must go home

Eddie

Chalfont Star

Joined: 11 January 2005
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 3334

Posted: 25 February 2005 at 7:52pm

with thanks to Pam

They say Kesey's dead; But never trust a prankster;even underground.

Eddie

Chalfont Star

Joined: 11 January 2005
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 3334

Posted: 25 February 2005 at 10:45pm

had to share this one

http://www.maggiethatcher.com/

Edited by Eddie

They say Kesey's dead; But never trust a prankster;even underground.

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic
Guests Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Guest	Posted: 17 January 2005 at 8:52am
	Not so much a joke but v good if you like cats! http://www.rathergood.com/independent_woman/

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Eddie Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Chalfont Star Joined: 11 January 2005 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 3334	Posted: 12 February 2005 at 11:20am
	Subject: Dwarf with a lisp Dwarf with a lisp A Dwarf with a lisp goes to a stud farm to buy a horse, "I'd like to buy a horth" he says to the owner of the farm. "What sort of horse ?" asks the owner. "A female horth", the dwarf replies and so the owner takes him to his finest mare. "Nithe horth", says the dwarf, "Can I thee her eyth?". The owner patiently picks up the dwarf and shows him the horse's eyes. "Nithe eyth" says the dwarf, "Can I thee her teeth?". Again, the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horse's teeth "Nithe teeth, can I thee her eerth?" the dwarf says. By now the owner is getting a little fed up but again, picks up the dwarf and shows him the horse's ears. "Nithe eerth", says the dwarf, "Can I thee her twot?" With this, the owner picks up the dwarf and shoves his head deep inside the horse's vagina and holds him there for a few seconds before pulling him out and putting him down. The dwarf shakes his head and says, "Perhapth I should weefwaze that, can I thee her wun awound?".
	They say Kesey's dead; But never trust a prankster;even underground.

Steve Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Chalfont Snapper Joined: 25 February 2005 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 3305	Posted: 25 February 2005 at 3:40pm
	An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice -- picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and grapefruit trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator." Moral: Old men can still think fast.
	Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Helen Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Chalfont Star Joined: 21 January 2005 Status: Offline Points: 4221	Posted: 25 February 2005 at 5:19pm
	very good, must do some work

Wolfie Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Chalfontonian Joined: 17 January 2005 Status: Offline Points: 1391	Posted: 25 February 2005 at 5:23pm
	me too, must go home

Eddie Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Chalfont Star Joined: 11 January 2005 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 3334	Posted: 25 February 2005 at 7:52pm
	with thanks to Pam
	They say Kesey's dead; But never trust a prankster;even underground.

Eddie Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Chalfont Star Joined: 11 January 2005 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 3334	Posted: 25 February 2005 at 10:45pm
	had to share this one http://www.maggiethatcher.com/ Edited by Eddie
	They say Kesey's dead; But never trust a prankster;even underground.