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Sid Jokes, some (X) rated

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hissing sid View Drop Down
Chalfont Oldie
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hissing sid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 February 2011 at 3:44am

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman "Can I have a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toasty". The barman is amazed but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toasty. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toasty then he leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a Pint of Beer and a ham and cheese toasty. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub (because word gets round) gives the rabbit the pint and the toasty. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

The next night, the pub is packed, in walks the rabbit and says "A pint of beer and a ham and cheese toasty, please barman". The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toasty and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down then walks out.

The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending and the barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year.

In walks the rabbit and says, "A Pint of Beer and a ham and cheese toasty, please barman", smiling and accepting the tributes of the masses. The barman says, "I'm sorry rabbit me old mate, old mucker but we are right out of them ham and cheese toasties". The rabbit looks aghast, the crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, "We do have a very nice cheese and onion toasty...?"

The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, "Are you sure I will like it?" The masses bated breath is ear shatteringly silent. The barman, with a roguish smile says, "Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends, I know you'll love it!" "Ok" says the rabbit," I'll have a pint of beer and a cheese and onion toasty."

The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toasty, he then waves to the crowd and leaves... NEVER TO RETURN!!

One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar he sees a small white form floating above the bar.

The barman says, "Who are you?" To which he is answered "I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house." The barman says, "I remember you. You made me famous. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toasty. Masses came to see you and this place was famous." The rabbit says, "Yes I know."

The barman said, "I remember, on your last night we didn't have any ham and cheese toasties. You had a cheese and onion one instead." The rabbit said, "Yes, you promised me that I would love it.

The barman said, "You never came back, what happened?" "I DIED", said the rabbit. "NO!" said the barman. "What from?" After a short pause, the rabbit said... "Mixin-me-toasties."




Hissing Sid

It's a free country, adopt whatever PC stance you want. Just don't tell me which stance I should take just because it clashes with your opinion.

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hissing sid View Drop Down
Chalfont Oldie
Chalfont Oldie
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Joined: 12 January 2005
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Points: 10440
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hissing sid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 May 2011 at 3:21am


A guy walks into a bar and says: "I'll have a Bin Laden."

"What's a Bin Laden?" the bartender asked.

"Two shots and a splash of water."



Hissing Sid

It's a free country, adopt whatever PC stance you want. Just don't tell me which stance I should take just because it clashes with your opinion.

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