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One for the Ladies

Printed From: Chalfont St Peter
Category: Chalfont St Peter
Forum Name: News and Gossip
Forum Description: News and info on whats up in Chalfont St Peter
URL: https://www.chalfontstpeter.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=624
Printed Date: 28 March 2024 at 7:21pm
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Topic: One for the Ladies
Posted By: Steve
Subject: One for the Ladies
Date Posted: 30 March 2005 at 1:43am
 

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!

ALL ARE WELCOME

OPEN TO MEN ONLY

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

sign up early and get a discount on registration

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS

Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?

Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR

Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?

Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY

Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS

Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

 

DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?

Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH

PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST

Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?

Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER

Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION

Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE

Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME

Individual counsellors available



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Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.



Replies:
Posted By: hissing sid
Date Posted: 30 March 2005 at 5:16am
A bit loud, Don't you think

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Hissing Sid

It's a free country, adopt whatever PC stance you want. Just don't tell me which stance I should take just because it clashes with your opinion.



Posted By: Helen
Date Posted: 30 March 2005 at 7:51am
PERFECT


Posted By: Eddie
Date Posted: 30 March 2005 at 9:54am
Why would anyone want to go to those classes? Them is all wimmins jobs 

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They say Kesey's dead; But never trust a prankster;even underground.


Posted By: Jenny
Date Posted: 30 March 2005 at 9:58am

Oh Eddie, I really hope you are not particularly fond of all your limbs because if you carry on like that you could lose some rather vital ones!  

 



Posted By: fontie
Date Posted: 30 March 2005 at 10:03am

Plus:

Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis jeans... 



Posted By: tobic
Date Posted: 30 March 2005 at 12:32pm
Good one Steve............but men KNOW ALL these things, they just pretend they dont............We have got to give wimmin something to think about while we go out to work........

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Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.


Posted By: Henry
Date Posted: 30 March 2005 at 1:37pm
Its good of men to let wimmin paly at this sort of thing, it makes them feel useful.....

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Keep the green belt green


Posted By: pierre
Date Posted: 30 March 2005 at 2:13pm
What's a laundry basket?

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Perveyor of crap knob jokes since 2007.


Posted By: fontie
Date Posted: 30 March 2005 at 2:32pm


Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.


Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.


Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature   anyway.

Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even
 in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.



Posted By: Helen
Date Posted: 30 March 2005 at 11:50pm
I'M LOVING YOU BIG TIME, MEN ARE NOTHINF BUT SMALL BOYS WITH MORE POCKECT MONEY!


Posted By: jake
Date Posted: 30 March 2005 at 11:57pm
oooh


Posted By: Helen
Date Posted: 31 March 2005 at 12:01am
is that all you can say, not impressed


Posted By: jake
Date Posted: 31 March 2005 at 12:06am
no not at all i was counting my pocket money, so i had to leave it short


Posted By: Helen
Date Posted: 31 March 2005 at 12:10am
jake give me some more becacause i know you could do better


Posted By: fontie
Date Posted: 31 March 2005 at 12:16am

Originally posted by Helen Helen wrote:

jake give me some more becacause i know you could do better

I'm sorry am I missing something here...... do you have a previous you would like to share......



Posted By: jake
Date Posted: 31 March 2005 at 12:17am
sorry still counting pocket money at moment got to 1.20p


Posted By: Helen
Date Posted: 31 March 2005 at 12:18am
cluck off fontie, he is just a tease, we now his sort


Posted By: jake
Date Posted: 31 March 2005 at 12:22am
not at all, i even don't like tease's and what does cluck mean? oooh just got it.


Posted By: fontie
Date Posted: 31 March 2005 at 12:34am

Originally posted by jake jake wrote:

not at all, i even don't like tease's and what does cluck mean? oooh just got it.

Don't worry jake, it's just helen getting all hen like......clucking



Posted By: Helen
Date Posted: 31 March 2005 at 12:34am
i like a man who is a bit slow but gets there eventuaqlklty


Posted By: fontie
Date Posted: 31 March 2005 at 12:44am
Yeah but one preferable with a pulse.....


Posted By: Helen
Date Posted: 31 March 2005 at 1:09am
well we all cant be winnners


Posted By: Steve
Date Posted: 31 March 2005 at 12:07pm
 

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.

A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.



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Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.



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