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Topic ClosedBeer philosophy

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Paul_G View Drop Down
Chalfontonian
Chalfontonian


Joined: 11 January 2005
Location: Vanuatu
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Beer philosophy
    Posted: 13 January 2005 at 2:06pm

Please make sure you read this carefully. It may change the way you think about your life and career.

 

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

 

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole is maintained or even improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.

 

In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass.

 

Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

 

The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link between all weekend parties and job related performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving a university and getting married, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates.

 

Only those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieve during their college years.

 

So, this is a call to arms.

As our country is losing its technological edge, we must not shudder in our homes.

Get back into the bars. Quaff that pint.

Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you

shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have. Take life by the bottle and be all that you can be.

 

DRINK MORE!!!

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Paul_G View Drop Down
Chalfontonian
Chalfontonian


Joined: 11 January 2005
Location: Vanuatu
Status: Offline
Points: 608
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 January 2005 at 2:06pm

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.

 

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

 

The students laughed. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. "Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognise that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

 

 

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that really matter.

 

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal." "Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

 

But then...

 

A student then took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer. Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full.

 

The moral of this tale is:

 

...that no matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER.

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